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Managing your money is a joint effort and both of you need to commit to creating a workable plan for your money and to follow it throughout the month.

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How can you share the money responsibilities?

Decide who gravitates more towards numbers and is willing to take on the responsibility of tracking the expenditures using Quicken or another budget management software. This person is now the numbers cruncher.

Along with the day to day recording, the numbers cruncher will often set up the monthly budget and bring it to the budget meetings.

Now, this does not at all excuse the other spouse from sharing the money responsibility, but his/her duties will look different.[Tweet "Both partners have a equal say in making a budget. "]

Beginning by being an active participant in the budget meetings, asking questions if s/he does not understand and providing balanced input on how the budget is created.

As the non-numbers lover, your job could be in charge of the shopping and you can become an expert at staying under budget by planning out your purchases. This is just as helpful, if not more, in sharing money responsibilities.

​What does this mean?

The number cruncher wants to slash every unnecessary expense in order to apply the remaining money to paying off debt or building savings, which is a noble goal, and decides the grocery budget can be $150 for the month.

However, it is the other spouse who actually goes shopping and knows it takes $350 to feed the family for a month. If this spouse says nothing at the budget meeting to correct this mistaken assumption of how much it takes to buy food, then there are several problems which could and mostly likely will occur.

The shopper could be very stressed about trying to feed the family on a drastically reduced amount and fights about money will ensure. Warning: you might go hungry.

Or, the shopper continues to buy groceries as normal and will overspend the allotted amount, which will lead to another fight.

Either way, both of you have equal responsibility in setting realistic amounts for each spending category and need to work together to find ways to cut down on expenses and build a solid, effective budget. Once you agree on the amount in the budget, you need to also agree to abide by those numbers and not overspend.

There is an alternative to the above situation, where the shopper speaks up at the meeting and lets the number cruncher know $150 is not a realistic number, but offers a solution. Maybe we can agree on $325 instead and work to trim our food costs by planning ahead or using coupons.

The number cruncher needs to accept the advice of the shopper and be willing to meet in the middle by modifying the amount spent on groceries.

While this scenario focuses on discussing the grocery budget, it is applicable for all other situations. The two of you need to talk and decide together which amounts will work for you. If you try a certain amount and it is not realistic, then at the next meeting speak up and adjust the numbers.[Tweet "Decide together how much to spend in each budget category."]

You will discover that dealing with the numbers on a regular basis will give you a good idea where there are areas of money waste to be addressed.

However, as the numbers cruncher, do not just singularly decide where the money will be cut and inform your spouse as to what is going to happen next. You are trying to avoid a financial tug-a-war, right?

When you discover waste in your budget, it is crucial to talk together and decide how much to cut back in that category or what is a reasonable amount to spend on a monthly basis.

The shopper may remind the numbers cruncher while there are no birthdays or other life events this month, there are 10 next month so there needs to be a certain amount in this month's budget which can be placed into savings until it is needed.

You both have a say and will need to listen to the other's advice, discovering a new way to share the money responsibilities.

As a couple, it is crucial to address your finances as a team and not be in a tug-a-war match against each other. Find a balance as to who is responsible for doing the different duties involved in managing the budget. Try it and if the system does not work, try another way. Keep adjusting until you have a system which works for you. [Tweet "If one way to handle a budget doesn't work for you, keep trying until you succeed."]

Form the habit of making financial decisions together. Set a dollar amount you can spend without talking to your spouse. If the price is over and the purchase has not been previously agreed upon, do not buy it without first talking to your spouse.

Once you have agreed on specific amounts for each category, whoever is responsible for making purchases can freely spend the money within the category without needing to report back to the spouse.

Bye bye, buyers guilt!

The key is to talk together about all things money and here are some ideas to get you started on a new way to sharing money responsibilities.

• Who is in charge of paying the bills? Doing the shopping?
• What are new ways you can save money on your expenses? Are there ways you can bring in more income?
• Do you have extra money at the end of the month? Where do the two of you want the money to go?
• Is money tight? Go though your money plan together to see where you can cut expenses.
• If an emergency or an unexpected expense comes up, call a quick budget meeting to readjust the budget.
• What are your money goals for this month? For six months? In five years? Stop and decide together.
• How much should the purchase be before we need to talk to each other?

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How does this work in real life?

I am the one who manages the budget by doing the data entry and the monthly budget projection. My husband writes down what he spends in a joint expense notebook and participates in the monthly meetings by sharing his input. Most of the household purchases are made by me.

We work together to see what categories can be cut from this month's budget, if money is scarce, and both continue to look for ways to save money or cut expenses. Our financial goals, paying cash for school and avoiding debt, are agreed upon and talked about often.

A new way to share money responsibilities is simply having an ongoing open conversation about how you spend your money, your money goals, and how you can win by achieving those goals. So start talking!

Not sure where to start? Check out 11 reasons not to talk money with your spouse for a tongue-in-cheek look at how your relationship could get worse if you do not talk money. You can change your family's future helps you with the first money conversation while Conquering the Big Scary Budget Monster addresses the need for having a reason to live on a budget.

Are you the numbers cruncher or the shopper at your house?

This post was shared at Tip Tuesday.